Things that make you go hmmm

In honor of my I-fell-down-a-flight-of-stairs-in-front-of- 100-people escapade last night, I thought I'd take a moment to reminisce about another choice experience of when my knees took such a beating...

February of 2003, XiaoGang, Taiwan

I was biking with a new missionary companion on a routine trip back to the church. Sister Spawn was six feet tall, scrappy, and a fellow Guster lover. We adored each other instantly. It was her second day in Taiwan, and you can only imagine the chaos involved in being a new missionary in a foreign country. Basically, you follow your companion ('trainer') around blindly and pray that she doesn't make you teach about chastity in the first week you're there.

As we passed the noodle shop of one the families in our church, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, I wonder if we should stop and I can introduce Sis. Spawn as my new companion and see how they're doing... hmmm, but we're sort of running late, would we have time? What should I say? hmmm...." and as I'm doing all this hmmm-ing I'm looking at the entrance to their shop as we're riding by to see if they're there, and while I'm looking behind my shoulder to see if they are, of course I run a red light and totally smash into a car.

*WHUMP*

.... Sis. Keng is airborne...

SPLAT! in the middle of the intersection. I remember the wind being knocked out of me, and staring at the ground to which my face is firmly splatted, gazing at all the squashed rats, cockroaches, and other various organisms that have died there, and thinking hmmm, I'm SO much closer to this ground than I have ever planned on being... all this time, scooters and cars are whooshing by on either side of me with no signs of stopping. Who stops in Taiwan?

My memory is a bit fuzzy at this point, but holds a dim memory of Sis. Spawn, bless her courageous soul, leaping off her bike, throwing it aside, straddling my prostrate body (not prostate, prostrate), flinging out her 6 foot armspan, and bellowing (in English of course) "NOBODY MOVE!!!!"

The screech of squealing brakes choked the air as scooters and cars and bikers and pedestrians swerved and skidded out of the way to circumvent the gargantuan 6-foot white girl giant wearing a skirt and helmet in the middle of the road. Thus I was saved. The end.

On a completely unrelated side note, I found this story while searching for appropriate Taiwanese street pictures. I'm sorry. I thought it was hilarious.