Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Summer of sequels!

Summer is finally closing in upon us and with it comes the glorious relief of good, solid, blockbuster-guaranteed movies. No more rotten comedies with banal scripts! No more B-rated horror slasher flicks with TV/movie actresses and dirty blonde tresses! The studios hold their best offerings close during the cold late winter months, to be released with the end of the school year and the floods of young people with cash to spend and the muggy weather driving people indoors for a few hours of air-conditioned entertainment.

I couldn't help noticing that accompanying the excitement that builds with every new movie poster splashed across building walls comes the observation that this summer's potential blockbusters tend to all be variations and/or extensions of previously established hits. There is probably something deep and introspective I could muse upon the degradation of cinematic originality and the loss of unique cultural entertainment... but nah. The reason why these movies are all sequels is because the original idea sold, and therefore even if the sequel sucks, at least there is some smidgen of popular demand mired within the sucky sequel atrocities. (Pirates of the Carribean 2 is distinctly coming to mind, but of course I'm still going to go see it opening weekend...)

So, I hereby rank the summer sequels in the order in which I am excited to see them:
  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix -- hello, is this even a question? And a mere WEEK before the release of the final chapter!! Does Harry die?????
  • Ocean's Thirteen -- looking for a redemption from Ocean's Twelve, as Ocean's Eleven still ranks as one of my all-time favorites
  • The Bourne Ultimatum -- I didn't even know this one was coming, which makes the enticement all the more alluring...
  • Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End -- see above re: Ocean's Thirteen. Lame but potentially redemptable. Though there's something to be said about movies that were made to stand alone and THEN sequels were squeezed out merely for box-office success. Okay, really what it is is Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. There.
  • Shrek the Third-- Shrek 2 was one of those few sequels that was almost better (if not definitively) than the original. AND rumor has it Justin Timberlake makes a cameo as Prince Arthur, king in waiting...
  • Spiderman 3 -- so this doens't really rank all that high on my list because honestly, I don't really understand what the appeal of Spiderman is over any other superhero. I'll go see it because it's Spiderman and I can never pass up a super hero. Many of you may gasp by my cinematic apostasy, but I don't see how the Spiderman movies are so much better than, say, the original two Tim Burton Batman movies or the original two Superman movies (relative to their time period, of course.) It could also be because I really just can't stand Kirsten Dunst. She really should have stopped at Little Women.
  • Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer -- don't roll your eyes. I'm shamelessly in love with Ioan Gruffud. The end.

I ask you, my fellow blogging community, the following questions: Which sequels are you excited to see and why (how would you rank them, and did I miss any?), and which movie sequel do you think is the best one ever made? There are obviously so many to choose from, but for my limited mental capacity today I'm going to have to say Toy Story 2. Toy Story was amazing, but its sequel was almost impossibly even better. That is all.

15 comments:

Warren said...

I was only aware of Harry Potter and Spiderman coming out (that's how up on pop culture I am). I'm definitly the most excited about Harry Potter, although the last two HP movies I watched with my brother at the Imax theater in Pittsburgh, so watching it in a normal theater will be a let down. I liked Ocean's 12, although I've only seen it once. The rest seem like they have potential except the Fantastic Four.

Christina said...

Wow. Great, FANTASTIC post, my friend!

Okay, I'll just go through them in order.

Harry Potter - YES!! YESS!! I can hardly wait for it!! Oh, and the new trailer?! It's just torture watching it, it's so good! (And I'm both excited and sad beyond belief for the last book. I don't actually want it to end!

Spiderman 3 - Okay, so while I absolutely share your views on its predecessors, this one actually looks really exciting. I can stand neither Kirsten nor Toby, but I'm still putting it as my number 2. It could, however, have something to do with Topher Grace...he's cute...even if he is evil. Don't fail me guys, or I'll have even more reasons to despise you.

Pirates of the Caribbean 3 - UGH! Just end it already, ya know? The second movie actually had potential, but the end was so bad that it actually made me instantly forget absolutely ANYTHING good about the rest of the film. Will Johnny save the day at the last minute again? Tune in to the last episode to find out!

Shrek the Third - Okay, so I was never as big of a fan of Shrek as the greater world population, but Shrek 2 made me change my mind quite a bit. I really liked it. I am now, in fact, quite looking forward to number 3. The only negative I can name from this trailer? The way Prince Charming rallies the despicable characters of fairy tale history to fight with him smacks of one of the worst movies EVER to taint the silver screen. Shudder, shudder. I'm afraid to name it, for fear that I will not be able to control my gag reflex. Thus it remains unnamed. It knows who it is and what it did.

The remaining three I would lump together since I feel virtually the same about them all.

Oceans 13 - Please let it be better than the second one. Amusing the first time, but only mildly so. If I were in love w/ any of the stars this might change my mind, but none are my cup o' tea.

Bourne Ultimatum - Will no doubt be very cool, but I pray for less shaky camera work. I saw the 2nd film in the IMAX theatre and nearly got motion sick from how badly the camera was shaking throughout the ENTIRE film!

Fantastic Four - I only saw the first one for Ioan thus I will only see the second for him, as well. He IS my cup o' tea, thank you!

One you forgot was Evan Almighty...sequel to Bruce Almighty. There is nothing wrong with forgetting it, since I was never quite sure how to take it. They tried awfully hard not to be too blasphemous, but then they went and put Jim Carrey in it. I own it, but in my defense, it was a gift. I don't know if I'll see the 2nd one, but it DOES have Steve Carrell in it...and his scene in the 1st film was possibly the only really funny moment. Pass.

So many questions to answer!!
Best sequel ever? I think I'd agree w/ Toy Story 2, but Indiana Jones 3 was another big favorite from my childhood. LOVED River Phoenix! He died too soon.

What do you think about all the film adaptations that are coming out based on cartoons or toys? Simpsons, Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (also a re-make) and another based on a kid's book, Nancy Drew. What gives? I guess things are cyclical, but is there really such a dearth of creativity that all we can do is to adapt, remake or sequelize?

Unprofessional Chef said...

Harry Potter hands down! Literally, I lose hold on my grip of reality a little more every day that is not the release date of this movie or the last book. Harry could easily die...and that would suck.

I'm also excited to see the Bourne Ultimatum and Spiderman 3...actually I'm excited to see any movie that will give me something to do...I'm a teeny bit bored down here.

Anonymous said...

Out of your list I am definitely most excited for Borne Ultimatum. Harry Potter is probably at the bottom of my list (well..ok it beats Fantastic Four by a landslide). Don't get me wrong I love Harry Potter with a passion, but the movies don't due the books justice. Also, I do believe that Pirates 3 might make the second one not seem so bad. Favorite sequal of all time...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Anonymous said...

please ignore my spelling mistakes.

Cabeza said...

Can't.... ignore.... spelling.... any.... longer.....

IT'S SPIDER-MAN! That's Spider-Man, in normal capitalization mode. There, I've said it. Now Stan Lee can stop flinching.

And please don't try and rank Burton's Batman Returns in the same place as the previous two Spider-Man movies. The 1989 adaptation of Batman certainly was good, but it was definitely stylized a la Burton, complete with a Danny Elfman soundtrack slightly reminiscent of his Oingo Boingo days (not that that's a bad thing).

Spider-Man is exciting as a film franchise phenomenon because it's a wonderful adaptation of a classic that revolutionized the comic world. Stan Lee, odd as he is, really did turn the whole of comics around. When he dies someday (who knows, maybe he's a mutant himself), he'll leave behind the legacy of: the X-Men, Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk, the Fantastic Four (don't let the movie fool you--it's an awesome super-team), Iron Man, Thor, Doctor Strange, and Daredevil (another unfortunate film adaptation). The Spider-Man films have been true to the story, true to the characters, and true to the overall theme and code of Spider-Man. Without sacrificing any of the foundational principles of the comic, Sam Raimi has been able to produce action-packed films with characters that have really been adapted well to the actors that portray them (except Dunst as MJ--she's so bland). The special effects are amazing and flashy without distracting from the film itself, and there's just enough quirkiness and humor to keep it light--something that is definitely a trademark of Spider-Man.

Shall I go on? There really isn't much to say as far as flaws in the Spider-Man films, once you shove Dunst out of the way. Complain about Tobey Maguire all you want. Nobody disliked him until he got full of himself after the first Spider-Man movie. The cockiness of the actor in no way detracts from his performance. He nails Parker well (again, as an adaptation)--he's an awkward science-loving nerd who is liberated by his powers and alter-ego and weighed upon heavily by his responsibilities. Please ignore the actor's hubris and enjoy his strengths.

I could keep going. I haven't even mentioned J. Jonah Jameson or Doctor Octopus or Aunt May or any of the other wonderfully portrayed characters that have helped make the first two films highly enjoyable and in turn make me very excited for the next installment. I also didn't sic the Shark on you. Be grateful for that (yes, that's a threat).

Cabeza said...

Oh, I didn't finish my second thought: Batman Returns sucked. It sucked really, really bad.

Asian Keng said...

Cabeza I think you're taking this way too seriously, but I don't think you can hear me all the way down here from your soapbox way up high. I'm sure there are purists out there who worship Spiderman as a bona fide comic book hero but I'm really just looking for a good cinematic time. I don't want to think about a superhero having to deliver pizzas for a living or struggling to make ends meet. I want him to be a wealthy eccentric with oodles of money at his disposal to make his fun superhero toys more feasible than Tobey Maguire washing his superhero costume in the laundromat and having it bleed all over his whites and then having it magically reconstruct itself as a gleaming Spandex wonder.

And it's Superman and Batman, so in my world it's Spiderman as well. I'm all about spelling continuity. :) I'll give X-Men the hyphen because Xmen can be visually confusing. I still think the English language should be spelled fonetically.

I completely agree that Indiana Jones 3 is a fantastic, fantastic sequel. It's what made me research and want to visit Petra (mainstream as that is) and is, in my opinion, Sean Connery's most enjoyable late-life role. Please, please do not besmirch the movies by making the purported fourth!

The sequels start opening this weekend... get your tickets ready!

Christina said...

Oy Cabeza! Oy, already! Just kidding...you're entitled to your very well-constructed response just as much as the next comic book nerd. I think I have to agree w/ Jen. I go to the movies for the cinematic experience. Two things: 1. My dislike of Tobey Maguire has nothing to do with his off-screen persona. As far as I know, he's a dorky, but nice little married daddy and that would only work in his favor. I just find him blah. Although I have to say that he has grown on me as the movies have progressed. I will, however, firmly stand by your assessment of Dunst. Blech!
2. Well, nevermind about #2. I was all ready to go off about your rejection of Batman Returns, because of your own admitted man-crush on Christian Bale, when I realized..."Oh, Batman Returns...not Batman Begins. Nevermind." So...nevermind. Agreed. Horrible movie.

3. I know, I only said two things...whatever. You have far too much time on your hands!
4. AK - I'm also keeping my fingers crossed that the stars will not align in order to make IJ4! It looks like things may be going in our favor! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367882/news

Asian Keng said...

Hey look, someone took the liberty of publishing their own opinions of best and worst movie sequels ever. They cite The Godfather II as the best sequel, and while I respect its merits, I also want to include as a critical criteria the entertainment stock value of being able to watch a movie whenever, wherever, no matter what the mood... and The Godfather (nor its incredible sequel) really does that for me. Too many garrotings. :)

ber said...

spiderman batman fatman gliderman woman spiderman. i haven't seen a sequel since karate kid II. NO that is a lie. i saw the bourne identity because i have a girl crush on franka potente, disappointed she was killed in the first five minutes. someday i'll have money that i want to spend on movies.

Warren said...

I like how everyone is still spelling it Spiderman and not Spider-Man despite Jared's post. Poor Cabeza.

Krissy said...

Don't forget Rush Hour 3. Not promoting it or bashing it, just making you aware.

Unprofessional Chef said...

PS. I just saw Spider-(notice the hyphen)Man 3 and didn't altogether loathe the Maguire/Dunst performance.

Asian Keng said...

We just saw Spiderman 3 today too. It was a bit hokey but had its entertainment value. I think what I realized is that I can't take these blockbuster action/sci-fi/hero movies seriously when they take themselves seriously. And Kirsten was tolerable only in that she was onscreen for limited quantities of time. I've realized, however, that she is incredibly good at the damsel-in-distress shriek. That must have been what made her cast.

So UPC what's it like to see your cinematic alter-ego on screen? I think it will always be in to look like Tobey McGuire...