Thursday, March 25, 2010

Food Tragedies turned...Triumphs?

Today's post is partially inspired by a blog I wrote a few months ago regarding the food tragedies that so often befall us, and partially inspired by The Fortune Cookie Chronicles, by Jennifer 8. Lee. I have no idea what the 8 stands for, but the book is a fascinating read on the rise of Chinese food in America. For instance, did you know that there are more Chinese restaurants in the U.S. than McDonalds, Taco Bells, and Burger Kings combined?

Anyway, since that so tragic Chinese restaurant experience of yore (yore = last August), Matt and I set out to find a GOOD place, hopefully nearby, that would satiate our Chinese food cravings. (For those who live kind of near Duke Street-ish, A&J Noodle is always a fantastic bet. Get the dumplings and the beef noodle soup and call it a day.) I trawled through local and online magazine reviews and we finally found, much to our supreme delight, Hong Kong Palace at Seven Corners in Falls Church. It is a Sichuan place, which means every dish, at least that we've ordered, comes smothered in red chili peppers and peppercorn, and midway through each bite your tongue starts to go numb. It's blissfully delicious.

I also found reviews and postings for a nearby Peking Gourmet Inn, most notable for its famous politically savvy patrons, including both President Bushes and a number of Pentagon officials. My local friends have always claimed it to be their favorite, albeit "a little pricey", but worth going to celebrate big events, etc. It was mentioned in Fortune Cookie Chronicles for having a bullet-proof front window. Every time we drove past it to hit up Hong Kong Palace, we would muse "hmm, we really should try it sometime to see if it's worth all the hype."

A few weeks ago we decided to give it a shot; my parents were coming into town and we wanted to guarantee Chinese authenticity in any restaurant we took them to.

One word: Surreal.
Firstly, observe the interior. 1) no windows. Creepy. 2) Have you ever heard of the "power wall"? It's a DC thing, where you post pictures of you + [insert famous politician here] and then frame and hang the pictures, ostensibly in your large comfortable Capitol Hill office. This ENTIRE RESTAURANT was one giant power wall. From the moment you walked in past the coat check (p.s.... no self respecting Chinese restaurant has a coat check) to the moment you enter the deceivingly cavernous dining room, you are accosted with photos of politicians. The entire wall next to us were just Pentagon officials. JUST military photos. There must have been hundreds of them.

Secondly, the food was not authentic, not to mention it was, indeed, extremely expensive. I mean, it wasn't BAD... it was pleasantly edible, and I guess I could go as far as to say it was 'okay'. But it was *definitely* Americanized... every dish we asked the waiter about was just large platters of fried meat of different kinds. We ordered an egg plant dish (decent, but quite sweet) and a black pepper beef, which was large cubes of deep fried beef with a sprinkling of onion and the obligatory broccoli spears to give an air of health. The little place in Old Town around the corner from my former roomies did a better job, and at half the price.

Thirdly, as we looked around nervously as we ate, there were NO ASIANS in the restaurant. Well maybe a few, and they were all getting the Peking duck without fail... but everyone else was old, white, and presumably Republican. Hundreds of them, all eating quietly and mechanically and perusing the twelve page wine list (second p.s.: no self respecting Chinese restaurant has a twelve page wine list). It was like eating in a 60's sci-fi horror movie where you find out Soylent Green is made of people.

Anyway, so it was an 'experience', and we were glad we did it because now we know we never have to go back ever again! We will never have to wonder, as we drive merrily by on our way to Hong Kong Palace, if the Peking Gourmet place might offer better food. In fact, when we DID take my parents three weeks later, to Hong Kong Palace, in the middle of the Cherry Blossom Festival, the restaurant was so jam packed filled with out of town Chinese tourists who had presumably heard of the place word of mouth, that we waited over an hour and forty five minutes JUST for takeout. I mean it wasn't pleasant, but thankfully my parents deemed the food worth the wait, and y'know, got a bit of childhood/crazy Chinese people nostalgia in the process. I'm just really glad the intestine dish my mom originally ordered was out. Must've been popular for all those natives.

I know I might have asked before, but what are your favorite Chinese places and what are your favorite dishes? One day we'll have a huge outing/extravaganza. =D

9 comments:

Madam Meg said...

This was, by far, my favorite part of your post:

It was mentioned in Fortune Cookie Chronicles for having a bullet-proof front window. Every time we drove past it to hit up Hong Kong Palace, we would muse "hmm, we really should try it sometime to see if it's worth all the hype."

I totally thought you meant that you really should try a drive-by shooting to see if the the front was really bullet-proof. I mean, that's what I want to do everytime something claims to be bullet-proof.

Anyway... I would love to find a favorite Chinese place around here. There was one we really liked, but after I started reading the Health Department write-ups in the paper, I just couldn't go there anymore. I know, where's my sense of adventure, right?

But I have to say, multiple generations of my family are indebted to you for teaching me how to make wontons....
and the scars I have from cooking with you are barely visable now. :)

Catherine said...

so i haven't been up on anyone's blog for the past 6 months, but i saw your gchat tagline and thought... asian food? by an expert? i think i'll click through...

thank you for your review! i have often driven past that apparently overrated restaurant and wondered if i was missing something spectacular. booooo peking gourmet. helloooo hong kong palace.

that is all.

oh, one more thing. a-MEN on wine proof and coat check.

i bow at your taste buds' feet.

Anita Baker said...

do you know of any in SLC because i haven't found any and it's been the worst 3 years without good asian food.

but i'm moving to cali in september so i'll have tons of good places!

Matt said...

A WINE LIST!!!!!!!! I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! I mean... I guess I should have suspected that any place that Bush would have enjoyed eating at would be like this but it was really quite dismal. Makes for a great blog post though.

Asian Keng said...

Meg, Matt and I laughed hysterically for several seconds (and really, that's a long time in spontaneous laughter) upon reading your comment. Now we'll be tempted to shoot The One Window out every time we pass by now. And really, where IS your sense of adventure... I'm fairly positive the kitchen in Hong Kong Palace is questionable too...

Catherine, when shall we return and eat our fill? Fish? Tofu? Or a twelve course feast at A&J again? Name the date!

Amera: CA is far superior in Chinese food. The end. I'm so jealous.

Matt: The wine list comment was for you. I really wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out, I was so creeped out by the millions of generals staring down at me while I chewed my deep fried beef cube...

Jenny said...

That was a classic post! I'm sorry the restaurant was a disappointment.

There goes my theory that Peking Gourmet Inn is wonderful. :) I think it was ignorant bliss. ;)

p.s. I had duck there for my pre-mission going-away dinner. It was fantastic. And I didn't notice the monstrous wine list; that is a little strange for a Chinese restaurant!

Asian Keng said...

Oh Jenny, please don't reconsider your theory that it is wonderful... you really should read the book; American Chinese food is wonderful to Americans (or at least, those who are used to eating it) because that is what they're used to. There was a whole chapter in there about American vs. Japanese soy sauces, and how Americans preferred the "Kari-Out" brand (even though it had no real soy) because it was what they grew up on. Don't let my surreal experience keep you from going back. =D And like I said, all the Asians there WERE eating the duck... I would go back to try that out sometime for sure!!

KiM said...

Thank you Asian Jen for checking out the "Famous" George W. visited Chinese Restaurant...sounds like I can save my money and go somewhere else. I appreciate your sacrifice!

senategirl said...

My favorite place to eat at is Asian Keng's Table or Momma Keng's kitchen. both are favs!!