Last of the red hot mamas

Yesterday our office went out for one of our many lunch field trips to my favorite Suitland restaurant, Topolini's. They have amazing mushy baby carrots, and you wouldn't think that phrase was in any way scintillating until you've had them. The restaurant is a buffet that regularly draws in large groups from various local services, mainly the Bolling Air Force Base and ravenous Census employees.

As we were waiting in the usual melee for food, I noticed a cluster of chronologically enhanced women by the front door, all wearing bright purple dresses/suits and large cherry red fedoras. I watched them for a few minutes, wondering what sort of fund-raising activity would require such questionable attire. I finally pointed them out to my coworkers and vocalized said question, upon which one brightly replied "Oh, I think that's the Red Hat Society!"

....???? When I pursued the topic further, she paused, saying "I don't know much about it... I think it's a bunch of old women who wear red hats and purple dresses and just get together every now and then..." With her hesitant answer I was hard pressed to believe she didn't just make that up on the spot, seeing as those two factors were painfully obvious. She then insisted it was a bona fide group, to which I vowed I would Google upon my office return.

Indeed, my friends, indeed, the Red Hat Society, founded in 1998 by Sue Ellen Cooper, the society's Queen Mother. Queen Mother?! Can this get any better? YES. Their motto:

"The Red Hat Society began as a result of a few women deciding to greet middle age with verve, humor and elan. We believe silliness is the comedy relief of life, and since we are all in it together, we might as well join red-gloved hands and go for the gusto together. Underneath the frivolity, we share a bond of affection, forged by common life experiences and a genuine enthusiasm for wherever life takes us next."

Anyone who approaches anything with elan wins huge points in my book. I noticed at one point that one of the women, who had to be in her 70's, was not only donning the fedora and bright purple suit, but a long fluffy, feathery red boa. Incredible. I have now determined that on the stroke of June 17, 2030, I am putting on my red boa (which will be worn and ratty with years of long use anyway) and fedora and reciting the Red Hat Society creed.

I also determined that since it is apparently so easy to start up an immensely popular "dis-organization" that I must do so immediately. What shall it be, comrades, what shall it be??!??!?

*note: According to Wikipediality, the Red Hat Society was even a basis for episode 7 of the 17th season of the Simpsons, and hence the title of this blog...